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12.6.17
I am not the best person in the world
Maybe people keep telling me how friendly I am, or I am so kind or care for others.
No, I am not actually the person that you think.
I was emotionally emotional (wut?!), I was so easily upset, I didn't care people, I didn't care my surrounding. Just me, myself, and I. Maybe that's all still me.
I can't speak fluently (really, literally). I'm afraid of starting conversation. I'm afraid of making relationships, like friendship. Bahkan sekedar melakukan sapaan saat berpapasan pun sulit. gue selalu takut melakukan hal kecil yang berhubungan dengan orang lain. Like starting conversation like I said before. Gue kadang nggak ngerti bagaimana harus bersikap, or how to react. So that's the reason why I just make a straight face, even I can easily doing that.
Gue bukan tipe orang yang berpikir bahwa komunikasi jarak jauh itu penting. Like when the holidays come, then all of the communications just stop right there. Then nothing. No texting, no calling, no chatting, nothing. Literally nothing. So that made me have no real friends, until then.
Kemudian gue mulai belajar dari orang-orang sekitar. Gue mulai tahu bahwa friendships are important, so do how to maintain it. How to make relations with people, not only with myself. Dan gue sempat menyesalinya. Kenapa orang lain masih bisa berkumpul dengan teman-teman lamanya, sedangkan gue?!
It's so hard to make myself like what people think now.
And its still hard to start it, in every step when I take a closer step to others. It's just hard.
Also another step to act. Hard. Afraid. I am trying. Really hard.
Dan gue mulai belajar untuk tidak menghiraukan apa yang gue takutkan, bahkan terkadang kelewatan ha! Sorry :'(
You know I am still trying hard to do everything that people want to see in me.
It's not like I hate my self or what. I really love myself, all of what Allah gives to me, no matter what. But, I just dont know how to live a life.
I am learning.
Maybe people keep telling me how friendly I am, or I am so kind or care for others.
No, I am not actually the person that you think.
I was emotionally emotional (wut?!), I was so easily upset, I didn't care people, I didn't care my surrounding. Just me, myself, and I. Maybe that's all still me.
I can't speak fluently (really, literally). I'm afraid of starting conversation. I'm afraid of making relationships, like friendship. Bahkan sekedar melakukan sapaan saat berpapasan pun sulit. gue selalu takut melakukan hal kecil yang berhubungan dengan orang lain. Like starting conversation like I said before. Gue kadang nggak ngerti bagaimana harus bersikap, or how to react. So that's the reason why I just make a straight face, even I can easily doing that.
Gue bukan tipe orang yang berpikir bahwa komunikasi jarak jauh itu penting. Like when the holidays come, then all of the communications just stop right there. Then nothing. No texting, no calling, no chatting, nothing. Literally nothing. So that made me have no real friends, until then.
Kemudian gue mulai belajar dari orang-orang sekitar. Gue mulai tahu bahwa friendships are important, so do how to maintain it. How to make relations with people, not only with myself. Dan gue sempat menyesalinya. Kenapa orang lain masih bisa berkumpul dengan teman-teman lamanya, sedangkan gue?!
It's so hard to make myself like what people think now.
And its still hard to start it, in every step when I take a closer step to others. It's just hard.
Also another step to act. Hard. Afraid. I am trying. Really hard.
Dan gue mulai belajar untuk tidak menghiraukan apa yang gue takutkan, bahkan terkadang kelewatan ha! Sorry :'(
You know I am still trying hard to do everything that people want to see in me.
It's not like I hate my self or what. I really love myself, all of what Allah gives to me, no matter what. But, I just dont know how to live a life.
I am learning.
vidyafa
